Ask Joe: “Would guys marry (or date) a girl that would sleep with them on the first date?”

Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro! We’ve made it to the 4th Ask Joe.

Question: Would guys marry a girl that would sleep with them on the first date? – Anonymous

Working The Phone To Collect The Answers (I'M ALSO BEING SILLY! LOL!  WHAT AM I A MOOSE OR SOMETHING!?)

Working The Phone To Collect The Answers (I'M ALSO BEING SILLY! LOL! WHAT AM I A MOOSE OR SOMETHING!?)

When I consulted my contacts, I modified this question in a few ways. I asked guys, “Would you date a girl who would sleep with you on the first night? Would you marry her?” The reason I asked about dating in addition to marriage is two-fold. (1) Younger guys (which is the demographic I gather my answers from) don’t think about marriage as often as girls do, but dating is fair game. (2) I know that guys will say they would date certain girls that they wouldn’t consider to be marriage material. I think that this usually happens when dating a certain girl seems like it could be something fun to do until they are ready to start thinking about marriage (if they feel they aren’t ready for it yet), or until they meet a girl who they do consider to be marriage material. The reason I said first night instead of first date is because a lot of men and women meet each other when they aren’t out on dates, and I know that a lot of men won’t even ask a girl out on a date until they already know each other.

The Question I Asked: “Would you date a girl who would sleep with you on the first night? Would you marry her?”

The Responses:

  • “I would date her maybe, but never marry her because you can’t have the mother of your children be some skank.” – Shane Falco
  • “Yes, I would date a girl I slept with on the first date. Yes, I would marry her. There are more critical components to the first date hook up. If we are getting down on date one, obviously something was clicking and there is chemistry. One very overlooked reason some marriages fail is the lack of sexual engagement. Healthy sex life = healthy marriage. Plus it is nice to see a chick that is comfortable with her sexuality.” – Logan Maxwell
  • “Oh yea! In fact, those are the only girls I do consider dating. They are the most fun. And with marriage, I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far.” – Anonymous
  • “Maybe if I was in my late teens or early twenties but that kind of impulsive behavior usually got me into trouble when it came time to listening to my inner being. In all truth that I have inside, the best type of relationship is when you take the time to actually become friends first before being physical. So if you don’t turn out to be good for each other then the least amount of pain is suffered between the two of ya. The friendship must feel unique and be of such a one of a kind basis for long lasting relationship. It’s tricky and playing with fire to sleep with or marry a girl who you JUST met!” – Anonymous
  • “Guess both answers are yes. Because they wouldn’t get a call back if they didn’t.” – Rick Nash
  • “Date yes, marry no. I can’t remember for the rest of my life that my wife was a ho.” – Anonymous
  • Hell yes I would, cuz I have before. Marriage is a whole other story though. I’m not anywhere near ready for that so no.” – Anonymous
  • “i’ve never had a serious relationship with anyone that I’ve slept with either on a first date or the first time I met them. Anytime that has happened its only lasted a few weeks, and was basically a sexual relationship kept separate from most social situations. so I suppose that any girl that I’ve ever been in a serious relationship with is someone i wouldn’t want to have sex with the first time I met them. I mean, not that at first glance I didn’t think “man I’d love to fuck that girl.” All I’m saying is that, if I were to meet a girl soberly and thought, “this girl’s special,” I would decide not to try to bang her right that minute, and if I don’t try to bang her, then I won’t be able to because thats never happened to me in a sober state, although I wish it has dozens of times.” – Anonymous
  • Well they all sleep with me on the first date soooooooo yeah :).” – Anonymous
  • “If the date went well and we had a lot in common I would date her. So what if we have sex on the first date. As a guy I’d probably think about having sex with her the whole time anyway. So who cares if she wants to have sex on the first date. It would be one more thing we would have in common. An as for marriage we will see after years of dating.” – Steve Matayka
  • “I would date her for sure. Don’t have to work for it. I probably wouldn’t marry her, not necessarily due to principal, more likely because she is a whore, and that would most likely shine through as we dated and that would be the dealbreaker.” – Anonymous
  • “It depends on the moment and how it happened. If we banged after a really great date during which the chemistry was undeniable, then I’d totally date her again. If it was after a night of binge drinking and I was really high, I’d probably hesitate to continue seeing her … especially if it was anal.” – Anonymous
  • “Yes and yes. All girls are fucked up and they love to get screwed, as long as they don’t get screwed over.” – Dzukela
  • “As long as she’s a monogamous slut and it was just my irresistible charm that made her so thoroughly put out on our date in particular, then eventually getting down on (one) knee is not off the table … especially if she’s not opposed to getting down on both knees underneath the table.” – Anonymous
  • “Yeah it really wouldn’t bother me as long as I was confident she didn’t have an insatiable desire for random cock and wouldn’t cheat on me. I mean, if she’s willing to (bang) you without even knowing you, imagine all the nasty ass shit she’d be willing to do once she’s in love with you (like cook you dinner while you (bang) her in the ass!). – Anonymous
  • “I’d date her for sure. That means you can have sex with her whenever you want. I’d only marry her if she stays hot and can cook. My coworkers bud banged a random gal in a bar’s bathroom downtown. Now they are engaged. He don’t tell that story anymore. So I guess if it’s love, then yes.” – Anonymous
  • “I think it depends on the circumstances. If you go out on a first date and really hit it off, then that would be awesome to get laid. If you are out at a bar with some friends and you talk to some hammered chick for like 5 minutes before banging her then she could either just be really cool and horny or could be a major slut. Chances are she’s a major slut, so I’d stay away from that.” – Anonymous
  • “Hmm, it depends on the situation.  My first inclination is to say “No” to both questions due to the fact that she is probably a dirty tramp.  So if by “first night” you mean it is the first night you met her, the answer is “No” to both because she is obviously a swamp donkey.  But, if it is a girl you’ve kind of known for a while and you finally hook up with her and on the first night of hooking up she sleeps with you, it might be a different story.  You see the female brain is much simpler and smaller than most imagine: it lacks logic and cannot resist giving in to emotion.  What I’m saying here is that in the heat of the moment, women have a hard time resisting the passion and give in to the sexual advances of the dominant male.  And they bang them.  So sometimes, this is not because they are a whore but because they’re too weak to reject the passion and end up getting slammed by the dude despite it being the first night.  So assuming not a whore, then “yes” to dating, depending again on the situation.  And with marriage, you can never tell.  If you end up dating her and love her, and she never cheats, there’s no reason to not marry her.” – Dick Triplet
  • “Well if she won’t sleep with me on the first date, then she’s wasting my time. So yes, I would and probably will end up marrying such a girl.” – Anonymous

What I find most interesting about the guy answers is the disconnect between girls they see as dating material and girls they see as marriage material. You can see from the answers why the decision to sleep with a guy early on can be so tricky because some guys won’t even call them back or consider dating them if they don’t put out, while others won’t consider them as a long-term prospect if they do put out. What you can also see from the responses is that there is a distinction between sleeping with a girl the first night you meet her and sleeping with a girl the first night you hook up (but you already knew her).

Now I’ll try to tie a bow on this and actually give a little advice. If I had to advise a girl one way or the other, I’d say on the first night you meet a guy err on the side of caution and hold out. If you feel a strong connection and are attracted to him, let him know that. You can let him know that you’re interested without giving yourself up that early in the ballgame. Let him know that you want to and you’re open to it, but you want to make sure that it is for real and he is for real before you go that far. Decisions like this don’t just effect your potential to have a relationship with that one particular man, they can effect potential relationships with future guys you meet (By future guys I don’t mean George Jetson orChristopher Lloyd). The less things there are from your past that you would have to explain to a partner in the future, the simpler it will be. When it comes to hookups for women, I feel like most of their regrets are from times they DID hook up with someone, rather than times they held out. Of course, if you’re not big on emotions and aren’t into all that relationship b.s. and are pretty sure that you never will be, then have at it and bump uglies with any dudes that you find cute, interesting, complimentary of you, pleasantly smelling, relatively intelligent, rich, or not ugly.

As for me personally though, I wouldn’t rule out dating or marrying a girl based on her sleeping with me on the first night. If she sleeps with me on the first night, I slept with her on the first night too, and it would be more about the type of connection I had with her up to that point and after that point.

If you want to read the post where I turn the tables and ask women the same question about men, click on this link.

P.S. Here’s another video that tackles similar topics.

Until next time,

Peace, Love, Passion.

Dream Out Loud.


Joe McCaffrey (Ask Joe)

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6 thoughts on “Ask Joe: “Would guys marry (or date) a girl that would sleep with them on the first date?”

    • Well that depends,

      If you say that you won’t sleep with them on the first night/date, whether you are attracted to them or not, there is a good chance they will respect that.

      If you say that you won’t sleep with them EVER, then they probably will stop talking to you.

      As matchmaker Steven Ward (of VH1′s Tough Love) said (when he was asked “What’s the #1 thing women don’t understand about men?”) “99% of us constantly have sex on the brain. Don’t hate us for it.”

  1. reading what people say about girls that fuck on the first night i just found out that my girlfriend did anal on the first night .we have been together for 18years she just told me this now .what should i do

    • well when she just told me she went to swingers party where she had group sex and told me she had done anal with most of the guys hearing that made me mad so i kick her out did i do the wright thing

      • if you’ve been together 18 years and you are judging her for something she did in her past (if i read that correctly, this past incident has nothing to do when you guys were together)…than you totally did the right thing because she deserves someone that wouldn’t judge her and realize that the past is the past and we all have a history woven into our lives.

        glad you let her go … now she can find someone who can accept her. guys have a double-standard. they will try to stick it in the “wrong” hole or do other stuff…and then judge the female who actually had done the things they did or the things they want to do with females. automatically branded a “ho” or whatever.

        those are the insecure guys, the hypocritical guys that most of us will stay away from anyway. (they are usually the most boring in bed, too.)

  2. when we first met a guy told me she was a slut i told her what the guy said she told me he was a ex bf and told me she had only been with 8guys i said i hope you are telling the truth as i hate to find out later that you are a slut i think the past is in portent as not many guys like to have a girl that went to swingers where she let guys treat her like a slut so why did she hide for so long she told me she wished she never told me as now it to late iam i bad for not wanting to take her back as every time i think how she let guys use her i feel sick i dont think i can get over it how should i deal with it

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